This photo is from the day I left the hospital after the surgery on March 21, 2018. Thank you all for your visits, presents and for leaving your fingerprints on the tree. I love you so much.
Sometimes it seems that life is unfair. Sometimes it seems that life only puts obstacles and tests to some, while others are allowed to enjoy more. Sometimes it seems that life is against us, but the truth is that life only... is.
It is not about good or bad luck, nor about tests of gods or karmas to be paid. They are circumstances that arise in our lives and that, along with our answers, we write the story that we'll tell when we die.
It is false to suppose that we can be happy all the time. There are bad days when we are allowed to suffer, because sometimes, the situation is as sad as loss of a loved one where only the crazy would feel happy; or as difficult as the return of cancer where only an indifferent would think it is easy. But what is certain is that our attitude makes all the difference.
VICTORY TRIP
I received this year in Paris, enjoying my victory trip, accompanied by my sister and almost all my most beloved cousins. Even though we had a bad experience in the metro station, where we were harassed by several unpleasant guys, and we couldn't get to the Arc de Triomphe before the New Year, we saw from afar the fireworks and the six of us hugged in the street, we promised ourselves that it would be a good year and we were really happy to have that moment.
The victory trip was an incredible cousins' Eurotrip. Last year I was going to travel with one of my best friends to Europe and I had to cancel everything three days before I left, literally, because in March of 2017 I was diagnosed with Frantz Tumor. After I "defeated" Frantz, my sister, who was and still is my star nurse, went on a school exchange to Madrid. My aunt Pachy, with whom my sister was staying, one morning surprised me with a call and told me she invited me in December to visit them and to check my mail. In my mail I found a round ticket to Madrid from December 9 to January 9 (thanks again, Pachy!). That same day, Xime, my second sister, joined the plan and bought her ticket. Shortly after, Lucy, who is doing her doctorate in cancer research (curiously of the pancreas) in Liverpool, said she would come too. Dany and my sister, with whom it seems that time does not pass, were already there. Other of my favorite cousins for work or school couldn't join us and Rimpu, who made the power went out (twice) of the house where we were staying, was the last one to buy her ticket. And all of them, along with Pachy, Pacho, Lala, Laurie and Octavio (the dog) made my victory trip an unforgettable trip.
BUT IN LIFE THERE ARE HIGHS AND LOWS...
Shortly after my return and 25 days after the beginning of this year, Lucy, my aunt and the doctor who saved my life, suddenly died. An excellent human being and a very important person in my life, left without me being able to say goodbye and thank her again, although I will never stop thanking her. But she left knowing how much I loved her.
IN LESS THAN A YEAR MY LIFE CHANGED 360 DEGREES AND HAS CONTINUE CHANGING. In December 2016, my uncle Lalo died of colon cancer with liver metastases. In March of 2017, when I was 24 years old, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (Frantz Tumor) with liver metastases. In June 2017 I almost died twice. In September of 2017 I celebrated my second chance in life with my healing squad. In December 2017 I fulfilled two dreams. In January of 2018 my aunt Lucy died and I was left without two confidants. In February of 2018 I entered a new job (which is incredible) and I felt "ready" to return to "normal" life. But also, in February of 2018 and only 8 months after my last surgery, through a PET scan, I found out that Frantz had not kept his word and I was going to have to fight against cancer again.
On February 28, 2018 I had a PET scan and I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but before the study finished, I knew. Even though I entered calmed to the examination, I put on the fashion pants that they give you in the hospital, I tolerated the taste of the contrast and "I was sure" that I was going to obtain the desired results, my hopes came down as soon as the man who was giving me instructions told me that they needed to do "an extra breathing study".
An extra study?! In the other PET they did not do any extra study. Why do they want to do an extra study?! There is something wrong. Fuck... there's something wrong. I knew it. Being an optimistic does not help. Sugar is bad for cancer and theeerrreee I go to eat things with sugar. These are the consequences. Ohhh no, this is unfair. Just when everything is returning to normal and I have to have something. I have something. Aggghhh. I do not want to die. I have lots of plans. Get me out of the machine. I want to get out of here. AAAA, my back is hurting. Ugh, it's been long since my back hurt like this. It was instantaneous... how weird.
All that went through my head while I felt a slight anxiety. I left the examination somewhat discouraged, although I tried to hide it. I felt nervous and sent Paco, my star doctor, a message asking him to see my results as soon as he could, and tell me, whether they were good or bad.
Soon he called me and confirmed one of my worst fears: FRANTZ HAD RETURNED. "Do you remember that when it all started, I promised you that I would always tell you the truth?" (His question confirmed it) You have three more tumors. The good news is that they are very small. The bad... you'll need more surgeries", Paco told me.
Ufffff... In less than a year and after having endured so much, I had new tumors. Two in the peritoneum (below where the right side of my liver had been) and another in the vena cava (below the heart). And I think that is the bad thing about cancer. In addition to threatening your life and that it is your own body who attacks you, it also plays with your feelings. One day it makes you believe that you are free.. and the other, it returns.
That day I felt as if I had been told that tomorrow I would die. However, it is true what they say that if you face your fears, they turn less scary. And although I'm still in the process of assimilating that pancreatic cancer is a terrible opponent, I know I can beat it twice and still be part of the 5% of the survivors.
The next day I had an appointment with Chan. My parents, Alfredo and Xime accompanied me. Chan reassured us all when he told us that the tumors didn't touch any important organ and that those of the peritoneum were easy to remove. He also told us that we would need the help of a vascular surgeon or chest specialist to remove the last tumor, but that anyway, he was going to enter to the operation to accompany me.
The first surgery of the second round was scheduled for March 21 and, although I still do not have a date for the second, it will probably be at the end of May or mid-June.
Due to the various complications of my last surgery, I was quite nervous before my fourth operation. Although Chan had told me that this new surgery would not be the same as the others, the truth is that I thought that a lot of pain and some problems awaited me. However, my family and close friends, once again, motivated me and helped me with their good vibes.
With the magic hands of Chan, the operation was performed in an hour, was free of complications and to my surprise, I had little pain. Although I have a new and large vertical scar, my recovery has been very fast and good. Every day I'm better, better, better... and closer to giving the final KO to Frantz!
***
Lalo, Lucy and Alejandra will be forever in my heart.
Thank you for your support and encouraging messages,
Majo >> @goodbyefrantz
Ps. I don't know if I told you before, but my family is full of talented people. Diana, who has always been an unconditional aunt to me, painted Alfredo and me a beautiful painting with several meanings: the farewell to Frantz, the connection between Alfredo and me, and the hope of my second chance in life. I wish you like it as much as I do.
