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Death

Actualizado: 9 ene


@goodbyefrantz

Having cancer makes you think about death. Obviously. It's as if a clock with a countdown timer suddenly appeared, and although it's not that cool and if I could choose, I would return it, the reality is that it's just a reminder to live. Almost three months ago my cousin Mateo passed away. He was 13 years old, healthy, loved and happy. But on October 19 and despite of that, Mateo's spirit decided to fly to another dimension. It was kind of surreal and it still feels like life's writers made a mistake. Mateo was going to grow and be my kids' cool uncle. Death is forever. My uncle Toscano, Mateo's father said that eternity was in 13 years, 4 months and 3 days because it doesn't matter if you live 13, 19, 49, 50, 62, 79 or 98, life is not measured in years. It is measured in experiences, the hearts you touch and how happy you are. How much do you expand your life, as my uncle Lalo used to say. None of us know how many years we are going to live, and although a short life may seem like a tragedy, thanks to Mateo I know that in the end it doesn't matter. My cousin Mateo was a great person and his artistic soul transcended, because as one of his teachers said, it didn't take long to get to love him with all your heart. I have learned to live with my watch, ignoring it so much that I even forget about it. And although it's obvious knowing about Frantz sometimes stresses me out, I know that I'm going to continue well and better than I can imagine. Yesterday I had a new PET scan and the results are better than expected. The disease is stable and even a little better than it was in June 2021. There are no new tumors, the same remain but the SUV (which measures the intensity of the disease) has dropped to almost 50%. On January 19 I will see Chan and we'll have a plan of action, but it will most likely be to monitor in another 6 months, and although the body recovers quickly and I fully trust Chan's magic hands, there will be no surgery. The conclusion is that everything is better than I thought, and it's good to know that I'm going to live my 29 and live them well.